The end of a chapter...

Have you ever read a really good book where each chapter captures your attention? Do you ever get "that" feeling when you finish a chapter...the sad yet excited feeling? Sad because a section of the book that you really enjoyed is coming to a close...sad because the new chapter may mean new characters, new situations, or a different plot yet excited because you are loving this book and you want to know so badly what may happen next. You are excited because you know you can't stay in one chapter forever and that with each character or plot that continues to develop the story only gets better. You are excited for the unknown because you are holding it in light of the joy and delight of the present. That is how I feel today.
Tomorrow I will leave Mercy Ships; I will leave Benin, my home for the majority of this year. I hope you have been able to tell from my pictures and posts that I have absolutely loved my time here. I could say that Africa has stolen my heart or that my heart remains with Mercy Ships...but the truth is that my heart is most fulfilled when I am serving the needy, wherever or however that may be. This year it has been through Mercy Ships and for that I am so grateful. As sad as I am to leave (especially because I am leaving behind such dear friends) I am feeling ready. I believe this is partly because the entire ship is in "transition mode." The hospital is closing down. This week is our final week of surgery! I have been working a lot and have especially loved my little cleft lip and palate babies. :) I got some great cuddles in this week, which made me smile. Being a pediatric nurse is great!
We really need to be praying for the patients who have wounds that are not healing or who we were unable to treat. The ship must sail soon but there are always mixed emotions with this as we are leaving so much need behind. We just cannot help everyone. Please pray that God continues the work He has started here...in this country and in the lives of our patients.
Last night we were honored by the president of Benin by being invited to his "palace" for dinner! There was a lot of waiting, sitting, and speeches involved but was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. The president awarded some of our leaders with the highest place of honor in Benin and thanked us for our service. The meal was so formal and beautiful! They truly went all out. They even had native dancers from different parts of Benin as our dinner entertainment! What fun.
It is also a bit sad to come to the end of the Bible study I was a part of called "Breaking Free." God taught me so much through this study and honestly it was quite painful. More than anything, though, I learned that I could trust God, trust in His goodness and love. That in itself was worth the pain! :)
Tomorrow i fly to Kenya to go on a 2 week safari with three girlfriends from the ship. Many people think we are on a vacation here in Africa but the truth is we have worked harder than ever. So, we are taking a couple weeks to see the sights and enjoy Africa...I hope. :) Please pray for safety and health if you think of it! Two weeks of "roughing it" in Kenya, Uganda, DRC and Rwanda could be tough..:)
Thank you again to everyone who supported me in my time here. I honestly feel so humbled to be used by God at all, let alone overseas. I look forward to where God will use me next! I have been praying for you my friends and family who have kept in touch and am so thankful for you. :)

I wanted to share a touching story of one of my recent patients. It was written to share with everyone!

Alba’s Tears
by Megan Petock


Ankosua was outside carefully mixing herbs and water to create a concoction prescribed by a traditional doctor in her village. It was mid-afternoon, and her daughter, eight-year-old Alba, was sitting alone in their home. “She should be at school right now,” she thought. Struggling to hold back tears, she poured boiling water over the crushed herbs and sieved the mixture into a cup.

Two years earlier, an outgoing and vivacious Alba was attending school with her friends. Now, she spent her days hiding in a dark room, too insecure to look people in the eyes.

When the drink had cooled, Ankosua walked inside the home and handed Alba the cup. Taking the cup, Alba tilted her head back, creating a small gap between her cheek and the large tumor that filled her mouth. Slowly, she poured the liquid into the small gap and swallowed in intervals.

While she watched her daughter struggle, Ankosua thought back to the day she first spotted the small bulge on Alba’s gum line. Never could she have imagined the fear and discouragement it would cause her heart.

After Alba had drunk the entire cup, she began crying.

Ankosua couldn’t bear looking into the tear-stained eyes of her daughter. Slowly, she wrapped her arm around Alba, who then buried her head on Ankosua’s chest. As Alba’s tears collected on her shirt, Ankosua did her best to be strong.

But Ankosua was depressed. Alba had performed this routine hundreds of times, but the tumor hadn’t gone away. In fact, it was growing. At times, it felt like it was shooting out of her mouth, causing her great pain. Ankosua realized the traditional herbs were not working. There were no other options. All she could do was keep trying and pray the herbs would begin to work.

***********

“When the tumor first appeared, my husband and I took Alba to the hospital, but we didn’t have money to pay for it, so they wouldn’t treat her. We had to use traditional medicine,” said Ankosua. Alba was taken out of school so her mother could give her the traditional medicine daily.

When asked how the community treated Alba, Ankosua stared at the floor and remained silent. After a 10-second pause, she looked up, her eyes filled with tears, and she painfully replied, “Some people received Alba with good hands. They prayed for her and encouraged me. But others shunned her. They said, ‘Go away, we don’t want to see you.’”

Whenever it was time to eat or drink, Alba hid herself from other people. If she went out in public, she kept the tumor covered with a rag. It served as a disguise and caught the foul-smelling and constant drainage.

After two years of watching her daughter struggle, a woman in her village told Ankosua of a hospital in Benin that was performing free surgery. Finally – a glimmer of hope! They scrounged to get enough money for transportation and traveled to the hospital, which was hours away.

However, Ankosua’s new-found hope quickly morphed into deep disappointment.

“We were there for two days, and nobody attended to us. I asked a woman who worked there why we weren’t being helped. She said, ‘They don’t do surgery for free, you have to deposit money.’ I trembled when she told me that. I had come with nothing,” said Ankosua sadly.

After Ankosua explained that she had no money for treatment, the woman told her about Mercy Ships. “This woman had heard Mercy Ships was in town, helping people and healing people for free. She gave me directions to the Africa Mercy, and I immediately went,” Ankosua added.

****
Still attached to noisy monitors and IV fluids, Alba had been dozing in and out of sleep since returning to the Africa Mercy ward. Finally, a few hours after surgery, she opened her eyes and sat up. Seeing she was awake her nurse came to Alba’s bedside and handed her a small mirror.

Alba looked down, paused in a state of bewilderment, and began touching the empty space on her mouth. The tumor was gone. After 20 seconds of staring, a single tear rolled down her cheek. With great determination, she tried not to cry. But another and then another tear soon followed. Finally, she gave up trying to hold them back and cried freely. Alba’s tears were earned through years of heartache and rejection. They were mature and raw – heavy tears for an eight-year-old to cry.

Ankosua stood next to her bed the entire time, carefully observing her daughter. When Alba began crying, she turned away. Ankosua couldn’t bear looking into her tear-stained eyes. After two hopeless years of discouragement and depression, healing had finally come. The mixture of joy and pain in that moment expressed itself in tears.

When Alba regained her composure, Ankosua returned to the bedside. Carefully, she wrapped her arm around Alba, who then buried her head on Ankosua’s chest. As Alba’s tears collected on her shirt, Ankosua did her best to be strong. But her heart was too overwhelmed with joy. Tears of relief and joy flooded her eyes as well.

They sat and cried together, each tear serving as a testimony to the transforming power of God’s mercy.

You know you're in Africa when...

You know you’re working in Africa when:
You run out of the following supplied and must find alternative substitutes for the next 6 wks:
Gloves
10ml syringes
alcohol swabs
paper towels
20 gauge needles

You’re mixing up different milks you found on the street to make a high calorie nutritional supplement

You’re working 65hours a week without getting paid overtime…without getting paid at all

Your patients are served fish heads for dinner

You go to a trash littered fisherman’s beach on your day off to lay out, relax and enjoy “nature”

You not exactly sure what the name on the medication box is because its either in German or Italian or French or Swedish…

Nursing in Africa is, well…different. ☺

These last few weeks have been life changing. Literally. I recovered from malaria, which was slow and painful, but in the process met a boy that I really like! God’s timing is amazing.
Since fully recovering I have been working a lot of hours. We are nearing the end of the outreach, which means increased pressure on everyone to see as many patients as possible. People are running on empty so prayers for endurance and perseverance are appreciated. Besides running low on morale, we are running short on supplies as well. God is faithful and our prayer is that the patients that really need to be here will come for their surgeries. What do we do with patients who need follow-up care that we will be unable to provide?
I have been learning a lot about allowing God to keep us in His perfect peace if our minds our steadfast as we trust in Him...and truly resting in His authority.
“You will keep him in perfect peace, him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord is the Rock eternal.” Isa 26:3-4
“…we take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ” 2 Cor 10:5
How powerful that is, even when you are laying sick in bed, feeling lonely and miserable.

I leave in a couple weeks and am feeling slightly nostalgic. ☺ I have been so blessed by amazing friends here who challenge me in my faith, pray with me, share with me and have fun with me. It’s not often you can find girls with such similar hearts! If I have realized anything it is that we all come from broken pasts and times of rebellion and anger at God. The difference is, however, that although God allowed us to fall into a pit, He was faithful to help us be obedient in climbing out. Obedience sure isn’t easy, but the joy and peace that are rewarded are priceless!

A recent experience

It has been a while since I have had a chance to share what God has been doing here. First of all, thank you for your prayers! Chitra, the guard who got hit, is healing well and all of us with malaria are almost fully recovered. For those that didn’t know, I came down with malaria last week. I actually had a wonderful week at work before I got sick and had written about one experience that I wanted to share with you but never had a chance to actually post it. I have been feeling so blessed to be called to work with thes people. I know I have thanked you before, but I want to thank you again for helping me make this possible. I am truly grateful.

October 7, 2009

Today I was inspired, humbled, ashamed and burdened.

I had the opportunity to join Suzanne, our palliative care nurse, on her morning visits out into the community. As the palliative nurse, Suey spends her days visiting patients of all ages in various locations who are dying. Because we were unable to help these patients with surgery, palliative care offers them pain medications, supplies to dress their wounds, calorie boosting nutrition, and money for food.

The first lady we visited is living with the largest malignant facial tumor I have ever seen. It has completely disfigured her face and has overtaken her mouth so that she is only able to drink. Somehow she is overflowing with the joy of the Lord. We were welcomed into her one-room house and sat with her on the bed as she preached to US of the goodness of God. Her daughter, who takes wonderful care of her mother, cleaning her open sores several times a day, chased her small 2 year old son Glory around the room as we prayed with this patient and gave her more pain medications to control her constant discomfort.

The young boy we visited next was equally inspiring. A lively 15-year-old with a contagious smile, he is dying of rapidly growing lymphomas. He takes care of all his needs himself, telling us what supplies he low on and how the medications are treating his pain. He diligently works through the workbooks Suzanne gave him and loves going to church to pray for 3-4 hours a day! He is praying in faith that God will heal him before Christmas. His mother is a strong, beautiful woman who wanted to sing and worship with us before we left.

Unfortunately the common theme of the day seemed to be the absence of male presence. The father was absent in each home we visited, absent for years, leaving the women responsible for finding ways to provide food as well as care for the entire family, including the sick family member. Not only that, but in two of the three cases, the man of the house had actually cursed the sick family member at some point and the voodoo belief that the curse was the reason for the illness was definitely present. What would entice a father to do that, especially to his teenage son? The devil, no doubt. While the strength, joy and faithful toil of the women inspired me, I came away shocked and ashamed by this much too prevalent reality.

As I said, it was a wonderful chance to be challenged, humbled and inspired. Being welcomed into a dying person’s home was so intimate. Not only that, the conditions in which they must live are amazing. One small, hot room with one bed for the entire family sufficed, filled with the pungent odor of the trash that was covering the dirt ground outside the door. What a reminder that I have been blessed with so much more than enough!

Prayers Please

Sometimes it feels like the world is falling apart.
That is when you have to realize you are not in control and all you can do is pray.
In the past two weeks, health and safety on this ship have seemed to be spinning out of control and that is why I ask for prayer: for the Lord's protection and encouragement.
Two weeks ago, despair hit the hospital walls as one of our translators was hit by a truck and killed; another translator was attacked by thieves who stabbed him and nearly cut his thumb off.
This last weekend two of our crew members grew incredibly sick and were admitted to the ICU for malaria. I had been feeling quite unwell but was sure it was not serious and did not want to make a big deal of it. I decided to pull it together for work as we were short on nurses. Luckily two of my friends convinced me to get tested for malaria, which came back positive. I was immediately summoned to bed and rightfully so. Within hours I was in so much pain I could barely move. My head throbbed and every bone and muscle in my body ached without relief. I joined the other two in ICU and after a few boluses of IV fluids and some good IV pain medications, my headache finally let up. (Not to mention, my parents were praying fervently by this point and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that their prayers were heard in alleviating my pain). I never realized how serious malaria can be: the strain we caught is the only potentially fatal strain which can cause cerebral malaria, pleural edema, anemia, etc. Praise the Lord we are recovering. I am now just feeling incredibly weak as my body tries to recouperate. Prayers for all of us are welcome as it is easy to get discouraged with the slow healing process.
Today Chitra, one of our security guards, got hit on his morning run (the morning run I always do at 6am with them). Luckily he was running alongside medical staff that included a surgeon and several nurses. He was unconscious and bleeding profusely. We rushed him back here to be scanned and examined and are praying against any lasting head injury.
This may come across as depressing. I guess all Im asking for is a bit of prayer as it seems to us that things just keep happening. It is a wonderful chance for us to look for God's grace in all of this and trust His goodness. Thank you.

Hiking, swimming, laughing

Can you picture yourself following a small, brutally strong African man with a machete through thick jungle and up steep cliffs to reach the highest waterfall in West Africa? Well I couldn't either... because I had no idea what I was getting myself into! After working a stretch of night shifts I could feel myself getting sick and wasn't sure how excited I was to to go on such a long adventure.

3am came far too early on Friday morning as the twelve of us sleepily piled into an old, creaky van and entrusted the drive to a hired African. Each border crossing (there were four) demanded a tiring amount of paperwork but praise the Lord we were eventually allowed to pass without too much hassle. Karl (our adventurous Aussie leader) did offer to barter off some of us girls in exchange for an expediated crossing...but luckily that was not necessary. :)

On our way through Togo we visited a Baptist mission hospital. This rural hospital set in the tropical mountains of Togo impressed us all! Megan, our Physical Therapist, was put right to work when we arrived as they were desperate for the input of a Physio. The rest of us were invited to tour the hospital and interact with the patients. Missionary doctors volunteer their time and all the nurses are locals who were trained on location. Because the Ship will be at port in Togo next year we were able to suggest that many of their patients who could not receive treatment come to us in the spring. It was such a treat to visualize an alternative way of serving medically in Africa!

Our drive carried on; we honked our way through narrow mountain roads which should technically be referred to as paths. At last we arrived at our hotel which overlooked the Wli Waterfall, the highest waterfall in West Africa. When we got out of the car it was as if we were all breathing for the first time. We never realized how polluted and smoggy Cotonou is until we soaked in the fresh mountain air, admired the lush tropical scenery and walked down dirt village roads, greeted by children who rarely see "yovos" or "white people."

To make a long story short...we had an incredible time. We hiked to the waterfall on Saturday which was much more strenuous than any of us had bargained for! Soaking in the waterfall, allowing the water to beat down on our backs was, well, painful but also extremely exilerating! Seriously, one of the most joyful moments of my life. I had a moment this weekend where God really freed me from a lot of anxiety. I have been a bit anxious about what to do next...where will God take me after this? Do I continue with missions? Travel? Get a job?...and it was this weekend that God stopped me and said "Angela, look around. You are sitting in Ghana. Did you ever think I would take you here? Trust me with what is next." Thank you, Lord. I can be an idiot :)
So after joyfully frolicking about we began the dangerous descent. Literally, dangerous....and FUN! Poor Cassidy, a super brave, beautiful ICU Trauma nurse was in front of me and took a hard fall...like most of us. But unfortunately she ended up a bit worse off. She recovered from the fall and turned around to look at me and held out her arm which was covered in dirt, sticks and bright red gushing blood. Ah! Had to think quick...we washed it off with the rest of my drinking water and I took my shirt too tourniquet the deep gash in her wrist. That got her down the mountain and luckily Karl was ultra prepared and had a suture kit in his pack. We created a makeshift operating room, got her a beer and watched her brave her way through stitches without pain meds.
Next day (ill make this shorter, I promise)... we explored Ghanan caves which turned out to be equally adventurous. The best part of this day was climbing down into a cave only to be greeted by a swarm of bats flying into my face!! I screamed like a little girl and our guide laughed at my fright...:)
I cannot tell you how refreshing it was to be active, to go jogging in the morning down a dirt village road as women got up to start their fires, to spend time with amazing people... Wow. We came back, re-energized for a week of work.
As for work, I am enjoying my little burn patients. They are precious! We have more fun the more I get to know them. This weekend they taught me how to count in Fon (a village language) and laughed as I danced in church. We are deep cleaning one of the wards in preparation for VVF (vaginal fistula) patients to arrive again. Their surgeries are very complicated and each one usually has a strain of infection that is extremely difficult to treat. We have lost a couple patients due to infection...sepsis... and are trying to prepare as much as possible.
I hope and pray this finds you well and that you are truly learning what it is to Live. Live joyfully. Live freely. Love with abandon. "Above all, love each other deeply..."1peter 3:9

On our way


Our fantastic group


The hospital in Togo...thats the nursery or neonatal ward on the left


An external fixator...rustic but useful


We did a lot of waiting at the borders... some beautiful friends


Finally we arrived! This is Ghana


Look at these little studs :)


On our way up...




The Wli WAterfall


One of the most joyful things to do! scary but fun


It hurt!!


We loved it


At the base of the falls when we came down...there was an AFrican dance party going on!


The hike down was rough..Cass with her tourniquet


And now..her stitches!!


Caving..


The rocks were quite slippery

The top was AMAZING


The kids were very curious...they don't see many white people. They were LOVELY and welcoming!!

"Angels amongst the sons of men"

Sometimes I miss home. I miss good coffee. I miss being able to go out and about on my own and going for a run in clean, non-polluted air. I miss being able to communicate with anyone. I miss baking and of course I miss friends and family. So why come to Africa? For me, that question is answered every day: every time a crowd of kids gleefully greets me on the street simply because I'm white; every time I send an entire ward of Africans into a fit of laughter because I'm trying to pantamime the question "have you had a bowel movement today"?; every time I jog by the crowd of disfigured people that is forming outside the ship each morning waiting to be seen; whenever I get to cuddle the orphans who are craving attention, and every time I get thanked profusely for placing an IV just because they are so grateful to be having surgery. I love the huge hug the little cashew-vendor lady on the street gives me when she sees me even from a distance because I've purchased her cashews on a few occassions. I love that I can have a full conversation with a mama about her baby by using hand signals. I love the joyful music and dance that breaks out at any given time...and letting them laugh at me as I try to dance along! I think its beautiful when a surgical patient herself gets up to help another patient to the bathroom or when the mothers on the ward lovingly care for each other's children in times of need. Of course there are things that are difficult but God is definitely real in this place.
This week I have been blessed to work with an older man who is very sick. He is precious and gives me the biggest, most genuine grin every time I walk to his bed. Half his face is covered in gauze as he has a weeping wound around his left eye, grossly disfiguring his face. He is being treated for a very serious infection and we are discussing what to do next. Hopefully the medications will clear up the purulent, bloody drainage that is constantly dripping from his nose and face. He is gentle and grateful, reminding me when it is time for his IV medication and nodding happily as I draw his blood. He told us that he was so depressed about his condition and his appearance that he contemplated suicide before coming to us for treatment. My heart broke to hear this! I'm praying that we can help him but mostly encourage his heart.
It is a true blessing to be here.
Please keep praying for these people and for my heart, that it would be willing and open to whatever God would have for me.

This is a beautiful poem that a patient wrote for us (his English is great!)

ANGELS AMONGST THE SONS OF MEN
The day the Big White whale landed on the black shores of Africa was a blessed day to the sons of men.
It came with angels to walk amongst the sons of men.
Why do I call them Angels? Let me tell you of my time with them.
I came aboard the White Whale with rooms filled with the lame, the mame, the formed, the deformed, the wrong and the rough.
And deep into the darkest part of the night I saw men and brethren, maidens and ladies though flesh as us yet with hearts of angels.
Sleeplessly and tirelessly they toiled through the night, through the pains and aches of men. They with hands to heal and mend, bringing from above the Fathers love to the sons of men.
Some they cut, some they tie, some they seal and yet others they fix with tools untold.
Like messengers of the Most High they came not thinking of their own, they risked their lives and sailed the sea to the lands beyond the endless world to shores of men afflicted and in pain.
Their hearts and lives they came to share as angels who walk amongst the sons of men.
Some in this life are born to pass and some are born in life to live, yet these angels are born to preserve humanity.
Though some lives we see as waste yet with speed they move to save. With words of love and touch of peace they endlessly toil to make right the wrong.
You were born as men to your lands and yet as angels you served the earth.
Gold is dug from earth beneath. Treasures are hunted on high seas. But love so pure and true can only in hearts like yours be found.
Your labor in the Lord shall not be in vain.
For every life you touch and every soul you save
For every bone you mend and every face you straight
The Lord of life and light will light your path and guide your life.
For you are truly Angels amongst the sons of men.

By Prince Eddie Daniels